Photo Tour of Sorts

 Collin moved out. A few days ago, really. But tonight is his first sleep at the guy house because he's been touring about in Montana instead of tending to life in the Ham. The three girls and I went over to see his new local. Here are a few images of the eventful event.

 Note the blue chair. The coveted blue chair. The everybody-wants-it blue chair. I bought this chair when I was pregnant with Collin. A comfy recliner rocker for babies. The kids all grew up loving this chair. They grew up to fight over this chair. Evidently, Collin won because this ultimate seat followed him to his new place. Most of the house isn't set up yet. He was going to get his room set up tonight.

 Guy shoes by the door.

 Faded beauty in the kitchen.

 Serious ability to annoy the neighbors.

 Weapons.

 More weapons...threatening the photographer.

Roommates.

 Cool flowerlike thing in the front yard.

Pink. Sadly pink. Notice the cat...using their front flowerbed as a litter box. 

Five guys. Three bedrooms plus a garage bedroom. Good location. Pretty cheap rent. It's perfect.

A Certain Kind. He's It.

This just in from Idaho via text.

My son. The only one I have. The only son a mom would ever want. He's right next to an angel in my book. The sum of his faults lies in dirty dishes on his bedroom floor and an amazing inability to wake up to an alarm unless it's ringing for something fun.

He's awesome. When I was young and having babies I didn't really want a boy. Boys are dreadful. They bounce off the walls and break things. They are loud and dirty. I prayed (I'm not kidding) that if I had to have a boy that it would be a certain kind of boy. One like Collin.

Said son, at this moment, is half way to Billings, Montana with two of his friends. In my car. He deserves a few days off, he's worked hard all summer. Him and two of his friends going to visit two of their friends. 26 hours of driving for a 48 hour visit. Love it. Happy to lend them my good gas mileage.

And right before he hit the road, he moved out. Loaded up his stuff in my dad's truck, drove two miles away, unloaded it. A perfect move-out scenario. We pretty much think the world of each other in that mom/son sort of way. No negative vibes. It's all good. He's ready to let his alarm go off for an hour and a half in a different house every morning. I'm ready to watch him succeed at school and work and paying bills and grocery shopping... all without a mother hovering in the background. We'll text everyday, he'll come over to study and eat, we'll see each other at church and at school, for that matter. He'll run out of money or decide he doesn't want to take out student loans and I'll invite him to move back in. It's perfect. He's perfect. I'm perfect. It's all perfect.

Fishing

 Collin and Grant went fishing. Collin came home with two salmon.

Collin's chosen method of cleaning his fish...aka Cody.

Raw. Fish

Collin tastes it. Eww gross.

Studliness

I have a temptation to do an adorable little blogpost about Collin and Isaac. After all, they've been friends since as long as they can remember. They're every bit as "awwwww" as Alissa and Grace. But I just know it wouldn't come out right. I would say something sappy or wrong or worst of all I would say something reeking of generation gap insensitivity. I get reprimanded often for using the word "cute" in the same sentence in reference to a guy. Like Stephen...everything about him is cute but my teenagers throw fits if I say that in public, even though he is only 6. And the worst one is (and I think I've grown out of it) is when I refer to Collin's friends as his...uh-huh...boyfriends. It's just a logical step sideways from referring to my girlfriends as my girlfriends. Only, it's not cool. It causes teenagers to put their face in their hands and shake their heads as if someone just died. It's very, very bad. So, we'll just stick with the picture on this one. (Even if Isaac is one of Collin's cutest boyfriends.)

Graduation, Graduation Party

He did it. He graduated. Twice at once. From high school and from WCC with his AA degree. He also has his nursing prerequisites finished. In the fall he'll be starting on some classes that will be required to get into the UW (or whatever school) for his BSN later. Statistics, anyone? I'd say he's pretty amazing for being a mere 18 years into his life.

 

So we had a party. We had his helicopter flying, sensible friend that I would send my baby to the moon and back with. Hi Dylan.

We had the gangster version of his friends. Xbox professionals.
Nice guys that look bad. 

Hi Josh. Hi Cody.

We had the cliff jumping, mountain climbing, 120mile running, Grant person that lives in a closet in our basement.

Then the friend that lives down the road and drives a cool car. Hi Nathan.

The Navy Seal friend that will be saving our country from bad guys this fall. Hi Braden.

The married friend that comes late wearing pink girl socks...confidently. 

Hi Andrew.

A lot more distinctly interesting, fine young men that didn't make it into the pictures. (Sorry. Photographer's bad.)  

 And all the girls. What's a party without girls?

 And a spazzy sister.

 And a heap of chocolate cake.

 And old friends, Michelle & Mark.

And Cody & Kaisha. 

(btw: thanks for barbequing the burgers, Cody,
and cleaning the kitchen at midnight, Kaish!)

 Cousin Kahlan & Uncle Kevin here from Jersey!

 And a fine showing of the relatives! Clarks flock to food and festivities. 

Even Hannah from Chicago! with her mom, Janet.

Two Make a Party

When Kaisha and Cody come over it feels like a party. We miss Kaisha when we don't see her for a couple days. It's so nice when she walks through the door. And Cody is Mr. Fun. He goofs around and plays with the little girls. He and Alissa give each other a hard time constantly. He's game for anything. Tonight was Apples to Apples. Even Ania played. Then brownies with peanut butter chocolate chips in the center. And spooning out the brownie batter at the end. Cody even ate chocolate. A tiny bit. How can anyone not like chocolate?

Emesis producing, viral loaded, diseased male. Poor man child. 

Run the Numbers. Not Good.

When you do the math on my Parent of Teenage Girls years, I have ten years down. Thirty-eight to go.

There is Collin, of course, who is 18. And being male, he pretty much rocked out on the whole teenage experience. He brings sanity to an otherwise wrong situation and has and continues to enjoy the perks of not being female.

There is Alissa, newly 15 and fully permitted to drive, who is the quintessential classic teenager. Amazingly strong and mature at the most surprising moments and shockingly dorky when you pretty much expect it. She's far more level headed than I expected her to be at this point. And I have great confidence that she'll be out of her teen years around the age of 21.

Then there is Mia. She's approximately 13 right now, which is a full 4 years ahead of schedule. If you do the math she will be a very pleasant person when she hits 19. The math works like this: a teenage girl is unreasonable and not at all to be taken seriously until they are 23, at which age they finally become nice. So if Mia is four years ahead of schedule and you stop being a teenager at age 23 if you are female, then she should be a decent human being at about age 19. Being that she is actually 9, I have ten years left with her.

Ania isn't anywhere near being a teenager in any form or nuance. BUT she is about as much work as fourteen year old twin girls. My estimated projection time for her is a bit grim. I think it will be about 3 more years until she is only as much work as one fourteen year old girl, which will plateau until she actually reaches 16, at which time she will progress from fourteen to the estimated time of female pleasantry, age 23. So, with the math that is (3×2)+7+9=22years.

Kaisha is twenty-one. She stopped being a teenager about half way through her 20th year. It was the best of surprises, completely unexpected, that she graduated early, since the theory of 23 was developed with her. The other shock was that it wasn't gradual. She was dreadful and then she wasn't. Pretty much overnight. Just ask her.

Total.....6+10+22=38. I have 38 combined years of parenting teenage girls left.

I tend to be a bit of realist and think we should deal with these types of things straight up. Thus this declaration to the world of people.who.have.nothing.better.to.do than read my long, fairly stupid blogposts.

The bottom line? The absolutely obvious conclusion we should all draw?

image by Alissa

Collin might do well to move out. Soon. Before...um...before...hmm. You tell me. What horrible thing happens to victims with toxic doses of estrogen exposure? It can't be good.

Although...two very good things that have come out of the whole unfairness are: one, he's never had a girlfriend. He knows faaaaaar too much about girls to be dumb enough to date one. And two, he will, I would bet my life on it, make THE best husband someday. The girls would be lining up for interviews if they had any idea how completely amazing he is.

Collin Cleaned His Room Just Now. Like, really cleaned it.

The best part of my week:

when my five hour study session on Monday was interrupted by my sweet friend bringing me a study care package filled with healthy snacks and Starbucks espresso roast! I had just started a timed, online exam so I couldn't even invite her in to visit. Right before the test started I was wishing for something to snack on but there wasn't anything good in the house. Then she knocks at the door. Ahhhh, it totally made my day. Thank you Jessica!

The other best part of my week: 

when a friend came and picked up Ania, took her home, let her play with puppies and bake birthday cupcakes. Quickest way to my heart? Love my Ani-girl and let me study at the same time. Thank you Rhonda!

Another best thing:

when totally cool teenage boys give my non-driving people rides. Enter Josh and Nathan on Sunday morning. Going to church fell apart in the final hour for me, but Alissa still really wanted to go. We text a couple friends. New Favorite Person: JoshNathan! I have chocolate for you. Or else there's the night Braden gave Ania a ride home from Ferndale, again. On his birthday, no less. Ania thinks he's the best. Thanks guys!

And you don't even know:

how great it is to have the best A&P study friend and fellow cat dissector on the planet. Together we got an average of 98% on the huge lab exam last week. Together we took two legs off Vampire Bob and got to see the articulating surface of the kitty femur. Together (today) we put away five hours of studying, lattes, breakfast, and lunch. Thanks Sara!

One last best thing:

birthday party lands at our house. I love it when these guys make themselves at home. They're the perfect house guests. Quiet as could be so the little girls can fall asleep on a school night. They even cooperate when I show up with the camera for a photo shoot. They're the best. Happy Birthday, Braden.

Go Ahead and Tell Me

Yep. Go ahead and tell me how absolutely beautiful my kids are! Bring it on.

My first day at Performance Physical Therapy was totally it! I loved it. And I'm so excited to love it, cause I really wanted to love it, but I just didn't know if I would love it. And it would so stink to have not loved it and start over on writing my plans. 

Other than that, my last couple days have provided rather unbelievable opportunities to have a lot of guts and deal with some really ugly stuff. In the end, I think its bringing good closure to some things and gives new freedom to move on. It's good. It's just "weird day" stuff. 

Deny It

The real thing I should be doing is studying. But I'm denying it. The next thing I should really be doing is sleeping. But I'm denying that too. Sometimes blogging isn't about writing or recording family life or a creative outlet. Sometimes its just the easiest thing to do when you're in denial about all the other things you should be doing. Which is me right now.

Things I love in random order (not including my own kids or God):

Collin's curls.
Borrowing that sweatshirt he's wearing in the picture.
Having all 5 kids home at the same time (which is happening as we speak!)
Finishing a run.
Going to zumba.
Ania's squeaky doll laugh.
Tenth Avenue North
That Alissa's learning German and we can talk in front of her friends. Even about them.
Learning science stuff in my classes.
Thinking about the future ... even tomorrow.
Yankee Candles.
That my parents would do anything for me.
Dried mangoes.
Kaisha's hair.
Collin's friends.
My Sig Sauer.
That Mia is so stinking smart.
Taking another class from Dr. Elliott.
Watching Alissa race.
Where I live.
The basketball abs workout thing at the gym.
My lab partner, Sara.
Kaisha's creativity and sense of style and photography and writing.
That my friend knits socks for me.
Having nothing to hide.
Comforting Ania.
Mia's teacher.
That Collin just cleaned his shower without me asking.
Kat's and Amanda's blogs.
That my kids have the coolest uncle.
Getting into bed at night.
The scarf Kaisha brought me from England.
My boots.
Sitting around joking with my three oldest kids all at once.
Jack Bauer.
One of the kids being exposed to the stomach flu and then not getting it.
A clean house.

Write 5 things you love in the comments. Be random. Not your top 5 things. Just any 5 things.

Picture credit: Dylan. Or Molly with Dylan's camera?

Fixin' Stuff

Collin (18), Kristine, Ania (5), Kaisha (almost 21), Alissa (14)

At a friend's house. She always takes a picture of families when they come for a meal. We have pictures in front of this fireplace from when the big kids were babies. (Mia was at a friend's house until later.)

Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.~Braden

Cleaned the gutters. 

Put moss killer on the roof.

Fixed the garage door so it doesn't take 10 minutes to close.

Reprogrammed the garage keyless entry pad that wasn't working, which required a lonnnng time on the phone with tech support. 

Figured out why the basement fireplace wouldn't come on, and fixed it.

Listened to the hopeless grinding noise the van door makes when it locks and made an appointment with the dealership.

Reprogrammed the keypad on the gun safe. 

Retaught me how to load the magazine and unload the chamber.

Put a lock on the shot gun.

Pressure washed the front walkway and driveway. 

Made phone calls to the home security system people, taking steps toward getting it up and running.

Helped Alissa tidy and sweep the garage.

That is what Dylan, Braden, Collin, and Grant got done at my house today. 

They are AMAZING! I love these guys.

I Stole a Picture

I could NOT resist! I stole this picture from Dylan's facebook page. These are nine of my all time favorite people in the entire world. It sounds like I'm speaking in superlative, but I'm honestly not. If you asked, who are your favorite young adults in the entire world? ... I would have picked these nine kids.

As a matter of fact ... all nine of them actually slept here last night! They're the best.

Ok. From left to right:

Alissa: i love this girl! (See the post from yesterday.) She's tough. Beautiful. Feels life deeply. Fiercely committed to what she loves. Swims fast. Is going to be the coolest adult ever. You'd want her on your team. Life is boring (and a little quieter) unless Alissa is in the room.

Dylan: the most thoughtful person I know, sharing the honor with his mom. Sensible. Dependable. I'd entrust my babies to him in a burning building any day. Even a few years back we had a standing rule at our house ... if Dylan (or Grant) invites Collin to go do something, the answer is always yes. We talk a lot. He makes me want to fly helicopters. Dylan's my Favorite Person so often that he's close to getting disqualified.

Gracee: sweet. She is the personification of sweetness. I've cried over missing her more than I've cried over missing anybody. The physical distance between her and Alissa since they were little has tortured me. She is the best friend Alissa could ever find. I would carry Alissa across the country to spend half a day with this girl.

Grant: he's far more amazing than his insane ability to run ultramarathons. He's funny. I have laughed more at texts from Grant than any other non-family type person. He officially has a room in our house (ok, so it's more like a closet) and I do wish he would occupy it someday. He's a hard worker, smart in school, knows where he's going and is carrying a ton of fun with him to get there.

Collin: perfect. If I wrote up a list of grievances he's committed from the first day he was born until today, it would be far less than his sisters' lists added together and multiplied by 12. When I was pregnant (sorry to say pregnant when I'm talking about you, Collin) I told God that I would take a boy, just one boy, as long as he was calm and quiet and close to perfect. One year, when a heap of families were camping in Idaho, the 20 or so kids got in a tussle about something and the parents and kids all had a big meeting to talk it over. I sat down, having no clue what had happened and noticed that Collin wasn't there. I leaned over to Grant and asked where Collin was. He said, "Collin's down at the beach. He didn't need to come." I asked him why not? Grant said, "Mrs. Thomas, Collin's perfect."

Caleb: Caleb is soft-hearted and passionate and artistic. He studies photography and is really good. He's passionate about political stuff and right and wrong and what's best for a country and what's not. He's funny and not afraid to be himself in front of me. He's smart in science. And an amazing self-taught computer guy gone professional. I can think of four careers that he would be awesome at if he ever decided to move on from what he's doing now.

Hannah: she's a lively child. She laughs a lot, but never too much. She brightens up a room. She's analytical and loves people. She's brave and forgiving. She's an artist and a dancer. Creative. She's all sparkles but can totally do mud. She tells me about her friends at school and makes me want to meet them. If I were her grade school teacher I would write on her report card that "she's a pleasure to have in class" and I would really mean it.

Kaisha: a different person than she was a couple years ago. In all the right ways. She's been through hell, if you don't mind my saying so. She's coming out shining and beautiful. She has an ability to hold up under pressure in a way I never imagined. She's all soft and gentle on the outside, but is all guts and iron on the inside. If you think you have her figured out, you're wrong. If you mess with her, you might walk away thinking you've won, but it's a sad illusion. She's actually kicked your butt.

Braden: just started coming around a couple months ago and now he's requesting bath towels and borrowing clothes. The guys gang up on him. They can make this Navy Seal bound, totally focused, in shape, intense, incredibly intelligent weapon owner sound like a dork because he can't twirl a pencil around his finger like Collin can. But he takes it. Then they give him a bunch of crap for the way he taps the table when he talks. He takes that too. Braden's cool. And I'm hoping it will rub off on the other guys.

The Deal with Maui

Maui loved us. Every minute of the trip was perfect. Every bad thing that could have happened, didn't happen. We didn't even spill any milk or get sunburned or get lost driving. It was perfect.

About 4 years ago I started saving air miles to "take the big kids to Hawaii" someday. About four months ago, on a good day, we bought 5 tickets to Maui. Three and a half of them were free. Not too long after we bought the tickets, life ... um ... changed and we weren't sure if we could still go ... money-wise. If we could find a cheap enough place to stay we might be able to swing it. I inboxed a friend who lives there and asked her if she could find a cheap but not icky place we could make reservations.

Kat and Chris called a couple days later and invited us to stay with them. Really? Are you sure? We're a lot of people. They didn't really even know the kids other than childhood memories. Five nights is a long time. It was sooooo incredibly nice. More than nice. I still can't believe they welcomed us like they did. And staying with them was definitely the BEST part of Maui. Palm trees are cool. Beaches are amazing. But these two people are the best.

The combination of Collin and Chris was my favorite part of the trip. They were better than watching TV. Chris should be Collin's big brother. There's 7 years difference. They have some memories of a family vacation we took together when they were both little. (Where was Tyler?) I knew we were going to have fun within the first 10 minutes of watching them play Mario Kart. Collin has never been so humiliated on a video game in his life and Chris enjoyed every second of it. Collin can take it. Did you ever win a single game? 

My other favorite part was watching Chris take in Alissa. That can be like watching TV too. On our second day he said something about Alissa being funny and he was looking forward to the week. Whew. I was so glad. Not everyone can find the "funny" in a fourteen year old. Maybe especially when they are living with you? And I loved, by the end, watching Kat be big sisterly to her. Explaining life, answering some of Alissa's silly questions that the rest of us have a bad habit of ignoring. 

Bonus: time with the Langleys. Dave and Joyce invited us for dinner the first night we were there while Chris and Kat were both at work. Dave bbq'd steak. Their condo opens right onto the beach. The sun set. It was warm and tropical and beautiful. And they are two of the most generous, kind, totally fun people ever. They spend part of the fall in Maui every year and the rest of the year at their home on the lake only a couple miles from where we live. The kids spend time every summer at their lake house swimming with friends and riding the jet ski. Did I mention kind and generous? The kids love them as much as I do.

 Kat . Dave . Joyce . Chris

All 8 of us went out to dinner to Bubba Gumps in Lahiana on our last night. The seafood was fabulous. We had such a good time. Dave insisted on paying and Joyce kept telling the kids to order anything they wanted. Did I say generous and kind?

Beach pictures coming soon.